I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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