He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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