I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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