Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize