I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How does one acquire holy water?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
