How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
