last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
