I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
