I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
