Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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