look no pants
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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