Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
