were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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