so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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