Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
