you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
