high people should be assigned attendants
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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