Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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