I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
