If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
