gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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