I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
