so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
