Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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