What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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