Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
