Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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