YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
