do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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