Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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