tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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