we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize