Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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