I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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