PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
