Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
