I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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