I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
