Umm I'm too high to move.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
