roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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