The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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