WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
