i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
