does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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