Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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