I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
