He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
