I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
