I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
