Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
