and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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