You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
