but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
