I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
