Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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