Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
