i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
