She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
