nut hugger
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
