we have officially lost it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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