Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
