Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
