we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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